Scene 1: Opening

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(Mohammad stands confidently as if hosting a show. Nasser stands beside him, slightly confused.)

Mohammad:
Welcome, everyone! Today we’re diving into Arab history… through food!
As mentioned in the book “Bulugh al-Adab fi Ma‘rifat Ahwal al-‘Arab” — which means understanding the conditions of the Arabs…

Nasser: (interrupting)
What conditions? What are you talking about?

Mohammad:
Food, my friend. The dining table is identity!

Nasser: (stares at him)
Identity?

Mohammad:
Hey, don’t look at me — I didn’t say it. The historian said it! Arabs were known for generosity, bravery, hunting, and dairy. They even used desert plants like qaysoum and wormwood in cooking.

Nasser:
Okay… now this is getting interesting.

Mohammad:
And of course—meat! Back then, Arabs mainly ate camel meat.

Nasser:
Camel meat?!

Mohammad:
Yes! In fact, Katie thought we still ride camels.

Nasser:
…Who’s Katie?

Mohammad:
My wife’s friend. From before we got married.

Nasser:
You’re not making this better.

Mohammad:
She seriously thought we don’t have cars—that we ride camels, carry weapons, and dress like we’re in the desert 24/7!

Nasser:
Wow. That’s… quite the imagination.

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Scene 2: Pre-Islamic Food

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Mohammad:
Anyway! Arabs in ancient times also loved rabbit, lamb, and even lizard meat.

Nasser:
You’ve officially gone too far.

Mohammad:
No, no—this is history! The pre-Islamic era!

Nasser:
Oh great. We’ve reached that stage now.

Mohammad:
So let’s ask people:
What did Arabs cook back then?

(Pause, looks at audience)

Mohammad:
…Exactly. No one knows. People barely remember what they ate today!

 

Scene 3: Traditional Dishes

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Mohammad:
Let me help you out. Here are some famous dishes:

• Thareed: Bread soaked in broth. Simple, classic.

• Sahira: Boiled milk mixed with flour.

• Adhira: Flour and milk cooked on hot stones.

• Akisa: Milk topped with melted fat.

• Fareeqa: Fenugreek with milk and dates—served to the sick.

• Safeef: Grilled meat over fire.

• Abitha: A dish made with milk… and locusts.

Nasser: (shocked)
Locusts?!

Mohammad:
Protein, my friend. Ancient style.

 

Scene 4: Modern Arab Foods & Origins

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Mohammad:
Now let’s fast-forward to today’s famous dishes:

• Molokhia: Once served to kings.

• Stuffed grape leaves: Borrowed from the Ottomans.

• Kibbeh: Possibly from ancient Assyrians.

• Koshari: Maybe Indian… maybe Egyptian. No one agrees.

• Musakhan: A proud Palestinian dish.

• Couscous: From North Africa.

• Tabbouleh: Thousands of years old!

• Hummus: Everyone claims it.

• Manakish: Basically edible art.

• Falafel: Invented as a meat substitute.

• Baba Ghanoush: Named after a beloved figure.

• Baklava: Sweet, layered history.

• Qatayef & Kunafa: Ramadan favorites.

• Umm Ali: A dessert… with a dramatic story behind it.

• Kebab: Perfected by soldiers grilling meat on swords.

Nasser:
So basically… history is delicious.

Mohammad:
Exactly!

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Scene 5: Closing

Mohammad: (turns to audience)
Now, one final question…

Nasser:
Uh oh.

Mohammad:
Everyone cooks Maqluba differently…

Both together (engaging audience):
Who can tell us how to cook it?

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(Lights fade as they interact with audience and invites them to move to the library stairs.)

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Sketch:

“The Eggplant Parable”

By the Buffet

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Scene 1: Opening Monologue

(Lights up. Speaker walks confidently to center stage.)

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Speaker:
Prince Bashir II Al-Shihabi… one of the rulers of Mount Lebanon… from the Shihab family.

(Looks around suspiciously)
Is anyone here related to him? From the Shihabs? In-laws? Distant cousins?

(Pause, scans audience)
No one? Not even your aunt’s cousin’s uncle’s wife?

Good. Excellent.

Because if I say something wrong, I don’t want a “tribal dispute” breaking out here.
Wait… do we even have that in Canada? No “customary justice”? No “coffee reconciliation”?

(laughs)
We’ve got plenty of that back home—Palestine, Hebron… Karak in Jordan…

Anyway!

Prince Bashir ruled from 1697 to 1842.
Don’t fact-check me. That’s what I’m saying—and history? We memorized it as kids… even if it slapped us in the face!

(tone shifts slightly)
The problem is… a lot of that history wasn’t even ours.
It was written by outsiders… colonizers… “orientalists.”

They said: “We’ll study you.”
And they did.
Studied us… occupied us… and flipped our lives upside down.

And we believed them. Thought they’d “develop” us…
They didn’t develop anything—they destroyed it.

(quick shift, lighter tone)
Anyway—no politics today. I’m just telling a story… about Prince Bashir.
And thankfully—no relatives of his are here tonight. At least… I hope not.

 

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Scene 2: The Eggplant Story

(leans in, storytelling mode)

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Speaker:
Prince Bashir had many servants… but one was especially close to him—his servant, Asaad.

One day, the prince said:
“I feel like eating eggplant.”

So Asaad replied:

(grand, poetic tone)
“Eggplant! Blessed be eggplant!
It is the king of foods!
Meat without fat, fish without bones!
Fried, grilled, stuffed, pickled—
Even used in Maqluba… may nothing in your life ever turn upside down!”

(pause, shift tone)

A few days later, the prince said:
“I ate eggplant recently… and it upset my stomach.”

(immediate switch, dramatic)

Asaad replied:
“Eggplant?! Curse eggplant!
Heavy! Thick! Gassy! Unpleasant!
It causes heartburn, discomfort, and long-term harm!

If you eat it fried—it bloats you.
Stuffed—it gives nightmares.
Pickled—it makes you nauseous!
And Maqluba with cauliflower is WAY better than eggplant!”

 

Scene 3: The Punchline

 

Speaker: (as prince, shocked)
“How can you praise something… and insult it at the same time?!”

Speaker (as Asaad):
“My lord…
I am a servant to the prince…
Not a servant to the eggplant.

If you say yes—I say yes.
If you say no—I say no.”

(pause, looks at audience knowingly)

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Scene 4: Modern Reflection

 

Speaker:
How many “eggplant people” do we have today?

They’re everywhere…
In politics…
In media…
In institutions…
In parties and organizations…

Like a screw—turning whichever way the screwdriver wants.

 

Scene 5: History Interlude (Comic + Informative)

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Speaker:
And by the way—quick history lesson:

Some people confuse Al-Zahir Baybars with Salah Al-Din.

Baybars? Born in what is now Kazakhstan. Founder of the Mamluk state. Hero of Ain Jalut. Died in 1277.

Salah al-Din? Kurdish. Founder of the Ayyubid state. Hero of Hattin. Died in 1193 in Damascus.

Please—don’t mix them up!

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Scene 6: Satirical History Parallel

(tone becomes reflective but still sharp)

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Speaker:
Back then, the region was fragmented…
Weak rulers… divided lands… paying tribute to foreign powers…

(pause)
Sound familiar?

(quick comedic pivot)
Let’s not get into politics—we still want our paperwork approved here in Canada!

 

Scene 7: The Maqluba Story

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Speaker:
When Salah al-Din entered Jerusalem, the people welcomed him…

And they served him a dish:
Fried eggplant, rice, meat, spices…

They flipped the pot upside down to serve it.

He said:
“What is this?”

They said:
“Maqluba.” (Upside-down dish)

(smiles)
And until today—everyone argues:
“Is it Palestinian?”
“Syrian?”
“Who invented it?!”

(shrugs)
Relax. It’s not a war.

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Scene 8: Closing

 

Speaker:
I once ate Maqluba in Al-Aqsa courtyard…
Best Maqluba of my life.

So to everyone—
Egyptians, Levantines, Iraqis, North Africans…

No one should be upset.

(warm tone)
Every culture brings something beautiful.

(smiles, final beat)
Just don’t be… an eggplant person.

 

 

(Invitation to the Buffet)